I’ve been “unfocused” for many years.
Over the years, I’ve been interested in writing, speaking, building, teaching, researching and painting. Aside from finance, I have spent significant time in the creative industries and academia. And a number of side hustles - selling art prints, doing commissions, even selling Nokia mobile covers on EBay.
In a full time job, that’s usually a minus. You either get viewed as unfocused, or get asked to do things outside your job scope.
But now as an independent, it’s great.
A week of delivering and building. Several talks across different rooms and audiences. From one for the Singapore Venture Capital Association to another for foreign public servants for an SMU executive education programme. In the evenings, I am writing a book on boring questions that directors should ask on AI risk management. And building an AI governance game for an upcoming course, to address feedback from my learners. And at the end of the week, a conversation with an old friend and artist sparked a new production idea. Also managed to do more art this week.
The diverse range of things I did in the past made me grateful that I do not have to rely on anyone else to write, speak, build, teach, research or paint for me now. And led to some reflections on how something that was a bane when I was in a full time job is now a boon.
Focus and a full-time job
Full time jobs don’t usually like people who do many things. They need to box you. The performance review needs a focus area. There is always a risk of someone thinking that you are slacking off by working on your own interests.
Until someone needs a photographer for the work event. Or an illustration for the retreat. Or a creative take on something nobody else can handle. And suddenly the breadth that was supposed to hurt real work becomes useful. Because you can do it and nobody else can.
Over the years, I learned to keep work, and my many other interests separate for this reason. There’s no point. The institution will use your breadth whenever it’s convenient and brand you unfocused whenever it isn’t. Both at the same time. Without seeing the contradiction. There’s no malice. It’s just the way the world works.
Another useful lesson from those years is to draw the line based on relationships. You don’t say yes to everyone. Neither do you say no to everyone. You help those you like and trust. For the rest, no is the default.
The lack of focus is now liberating
As an independent, the stack helps.
This week I stood in front of a room of venture capitalists and talked about a world I do not know deeply because I have touched it once or twice during my frequent wanderings. I sat with an old artist friend and helped him think through using AI for a creative project, because I happened to do both art and AI. And instead of making yet another deck for a course, I built a small game, because I can build, design and understand the governance content at the same time. And AI has made all of these easier.
A few things have become clearer, now that the breadth is finally mine to use.
The “unfocused” label was never really about me. It was about a box I did not fit, and someone else’s discomfort with that. I half-believed it for years. I don’t anymore.
And I am not sure “unfocused” was ever the right word. Spread out, sure. But I gave each of them real time, not spare weekends. I am not brilliant at any of them - the painting is still lousy half the time - but none of it was dabbling.
The “unfocused” years turned out to be the ones that saved me. The side hustles, the detours, the odd skills nobody asked for - they may have cost me something in a career, but they are exactly what I get to use for myself now.
One thing has not changed. I still draw the line by relationships - I help the people I like and trust. What changed is another bonus of independent life. The default used to be one option - no. Now I can also use money as friction.
#IndependentLife #RojakLife #AIRiskManagement #Art #Transitions #Reflections